What They Don't Tell You

The pre-chemo information session is chock full of all the scary things that can happen to you.
You can get an infection and watch your skin bubble and peel.
You can projectile vomit in an upscale restaurant while wearing a scary wig.
You can lose the feeling in your feet and fall down the stairs causing said wig to fly off and land at your side like a dead cat.
You can completely lose your love of cheeseburgers.

What they don't tell you is that you can become bi-polar. They don't tell you that one minute you may be sobbing over how dumb you look in hats and the next minute you might be ordering Chinese food for 20 just in case the navy stops by.
They don't tell you that you might just yell at your slippers because they are on the wrong feet and they don't tell you may spend half an hour in the Wine Rack making the fat ladies laugh about your arm-penis ( cancer translation = Pic line ).

I think I will affect a mutiny in the pre-chemo information sessions.

"Dude, forget the vomit scare. You are going to have Tourrette's Syndrome for 6 months. Hire a lawyer."