A Collection of Questionable Opening Lines

Browsing through opening lines on a dating site can induce anything from mild irritation to outright guffaws. Here are a few of the better ones I have found with my completely unsolicited review.



Intelectual  -  like hel

I am looking good hard  - and IF you had remembered the and , it's a good thing you didn't include long

Must wear nice panties  -  so I take it that the white bloomers I have been wearing for 3 days are not acceptable ?


Boobies  -  I am at a loss. Do you covet them or do you have them ?

Ubiquitous Synergy Seeker  -  Dude, the band sucks.

Heels and Stalkings  -  Does that mean you are going to show up at my front door one day and threaten me with a shoe ?

Doggie Daddy  -  Ok, all I can thing of is Auggie Doggy and Doggy Daddy the cartoon. But Doggie Daddy did have the best laugh.

If you like pina coladas  -  if you say it one more time I am going to show up at your front door and threaten you with a shoe

I like round things  -  May I introduce you to my friend Boobies ?

Waiting For Godot   -  Well, if you had read the play, you would know that Godot is not a 5'10"  Victoria's Secret model in heels and stalkings

I drink beer through a straw  -  Cool. I eat nachos with a vacuum hose. Let's have kids

If you lick the air does it get wet  -  What other metaphysical speculations keep you up at night ? Did Adam and Eve have navels ?

I'm leaving this site  -  See you tomorrow.